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Sunday, April 14, 2024

Humour: Jokes about table tennis

A Tough Oponent 

In a European tournament, three English players discovered that they all had to play against a terrific Irish player. 

When called to the table, the first English player said he was going to make him mad, so that he would lose concentration and play a bad game. He walked over to the Irish man, shook hands and said: ‘Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a sissy.’ ‘Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.’ The game started and the Irish destroyed the first English player. 

Puzzled, the English player walked back to his buddies. ‘I told him St. Patrick was a sissy and he didn’t care!’ ‘You just don’t know how to set him off, watch and learn.’ 

Later in the tournament, the second English player had to play the Irish. He walked over, shook hands, and said: ‘I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!’ ‘Oh, wow, I didn’t know that, thank you.’ The game started and the Irish swept the floor with the second English player. 

Shocked beyond belief, the English player went back to his buddies. ‘You’re right, he is unshakable!’ The third English player said: ‘No, no, no, I will really make him lose his temper, you just watch.’ 

When his turn came, the third English player walked over to the Irish man, shook hands, and said: ‘I hear your St. Patrick was an Englishman!’ To which the Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, thats what your buddies were trying to tell me.’ 

French Visitors 

A French Table Tennis team travel to the USA to participate in a tournament in the South. During their stay, they lodge in the dorms of a very traditional, conservative southern university. 

Upon their arrival, the local coordinator, a traditional, conservative southener announces: “The female dorms will be out-of-bounds for all male players, and the male dormitory to the female players. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?” 

At this point, a French player in the group inquired: “How much for a weekly pass?” 

Ping Pong Balls

There were three men at a bar. One was hard of hearing. They were all sitting around having a good time when suddenly a beautiful woman walks into the bar.

She said “The man who brings me the biggest ping pong balls will have me as a sex slave for the day. So all the men rushed out, and the first one comes back with decent sized balls. Then the next comes in with balls even bigger. Then the hard of hearing man comes back with huge balls with hair all over them.

The lady says “Those aren’t ping-pong balls! What the hell are they?”

The man says “Ping-pong balls!? I thought you said King Kong’s balls.” 

Smart Johnny

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn’t have to go to school the following Monday.

On the first Friday, the teacher asks, “How many grains of sand are in the beach?” Needless to say, no one could answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, “How many stars are in the sky?” and again no one could answer. Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend.

So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them black. The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day, just when the teacher says, “Here’s this week’s question,” Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front of the room. Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts laughing.

The teacher says, “Okay, who’s the comedian with the black balls?”

Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, “Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!”

Ping Pong Ball Mystery

A man had a child and one year later, that man asked the child, “What gift do u want?” Child said, “Ping pong ball.”

On his second birthday, the father asked, “What gift you want?” Chid said, “Ping pong ball.”

On his 24th birthday, the father asked, “What gift you want?” Son said “Ping pong ball.”

The son got married and at his honeymoon, his wife asked, “What do u want?” He said, “Ping pong ball.”

On his 25th birthday, his wife asked, “What gift you want?” He said, “Ping pong ball.”

On his 30th birthday, his wife asked, “What gift you want?” He said, “Ping pong ball.”

When his kids become older, and on his 40th birthday, they asked, “Father, what gift you want?” He said, “Ping pong ball.”

Then, on his 79th birthday his kids asked again, “Father, what gift you want?” He said, “Ping pong ball.”

Finally on his deathbed, all the people from whom he took ping pong balls, came to him and asked, “Why did you ask for ping pong balls all the time?” He said,” I asked for a ping pong ball on every birthday because…”

And he died… before he could tell the reason!

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