This is a parable, based on a true story, of happy rats who never had to run a rat race. They lived contented lives, didn’t try too hard, and were grateful for what they got. They were happy, perhaps even intoxicated with joy, until…
But first, let me tell you a secret. Rats don’t actually run the rat race.
Have you ever seen any?
You find them scurrying away when they see you. And maybe, on seeing one, you run away too.
But have you seen, say, six of them, racing against each other, towards a post or a tape? Or after some imaginary goals?
They do go after cheese, and ask profound existential questions like, ‘Who moved my cheese?’
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They also inspire enduring poetry like, ‘To a Mouse’ by Robert Burns.
But they don’t run any races. It is we humans who blame them unnecessarily.
How many of us could work on our computers without the ubiquitous mouse?
And yet, except for Jerry, the friendly nemesis of Tom, nobody ever found a rodent charming.
Authors, thinkers and even the celebrities have placed on record their dislike of poor mice.
Umberto Eco, the philosopher, says, ‘A book is a fragile creature. It suffers the wear of time, it fears rodents, the elements, clumsy hands.’
“It is rather hard to be a rat,” Frances Hodgson Burnett said in her book ‘A Little Princess,’ “Nobody likes you…”
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“I don’t like rats any more than the next bloke, but they ain’t wicked and cruel like people can be. They’re just ratty in their habits.” Philip Pullman has said in his book, ‘I Was a Rat!’
‘You can’t be friends with a squirrel! A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit.’ Sarah Jessica Parker is quoted as having said.
And we have all heard Lily Tomlin’s, ‘The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.’
We accuse poor rats not only of running the proverbial rat race, but also of being the first to leave the sinking ship.
And then, humans rat on each other, they smell rats, they join rat-packs and some even breed like rodents.
People call themselves gym rats, rink rats, library rats and studio rats, but none will admit to going down the rat hole.
Although the Chinese have a Year of the Rat, we happily tell the children the story of the Pied Piper, the one who rid the town of rats.
And we never remember the lab rats, the poor ones on whom we experiment, and harm them for our benefit.
To come back to our parable, here’s a recent news headline:
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Uttar Pradesh: Rats ate 500kg marijuana, Mathura cops tell court
The police also added, “Being small, rats have no fear of the police.”
Did the Court swallow that?
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Not quite. The Judge ordered the cops to get rid of the mice and then deliver proof that rats consumed 581 kg, that’s Rs 60 lakh worth of weed.
And that sure is going to spoil the party!
Well, Courts always like to look for precedent, so here it is, from Argentina in 2018.
The Mice Ate The Marijuana, Says Police About Half A Ton Of Missing Weed
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While the interested parties chew over the problem, here’s the famous verse by Robert Burns:
The best-laid plans of mice and men,
Oft go awry.
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And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!
As they indeed did in this case, when law intervened and spoiled the fun.
Looks like the poor rats will have to join the race after all, like the rest of us!