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Sunday, September 8, 2024

Yes I Am Gay, My Sexuality Is Not Common

A lot has changed for the LGBTQIA community, not only legally but even in our perceptions and this has only been achieved due to the due efforts of those who decided to live their lives on their own terms despite the struggles that it involved. Lucknow’s Tanzeel Ahmed is one such inspiration who narrates his heartfelt tale in a special interview with IndiTimes.

Tanzeel Ahmed
IndiaTimes

“I was born in Gorakhpur, Uttar Pradesh. From a very young age I realized that I am not like others. For years I was in denial, suddenly I realized that it can’t be right. I then focussed on my self and discovered that I am a ‘Gay’, the reality set me aback, but I decided not to shy away from it. I waS 16 when I lied to my parents to participate in a Queer Parade. On my return from Delhi, I had realized that I couldn’t live in Gorakhpur anymore.” 

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They tried to ‘normalize’ me 

‘’Actually, now my identity was revealed, no one was ready to accept me as a homosexual individual. Infact, my parents did not even believe me. For the sake of their convenience they even took me to a famous psychologist in the city. On the very first day, the psychologist figured out my identity, but despite that he concealed this fact from my family and suggested activities that would make me seem normal.” 

Tanzeel Ahmed
IndiaTimes

‘’On my parents’ insistence I did all that was suggested by the psychologist although, there was no change in me. During this time, someone suggested my parents consult a saint (pir baba) and my parents even took me to consult one. On his advice, every evening I was locked in a room where I was compelled to look at the candle flame until the flame died down. Often this activity used to take hours and my mother used to look over me to ensure that I am not engaged in a movement that blows off the candle.”

Moving to Lucknow changed my life 

‘’Despite all efforts and trials, medical and religious, my sexuality remained unchanged. Finally, I decided to live my life on my own terms and after securing a good score in my boards, I came to Lucknow for my higher studies. The shift to Lucknow changed my life completely.”

‘’In Lucknow, I met people who were exactly like me, my family has also accepted me by now. Here, I live my life with accordance to my rules and work at a trans-clinic where I am engaged in helping the LGBTQIA community by solving the issues faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer individuals, in a hope that one day the society will embrace us with open arms.”

Social Media introduced me to my partner

Tanzeel Ahmed
IndiaTimes

Around three years ago, social media enabled me to meet my partner. Initially, our conversations were absolutely informal. However, gradually we started getting compatible mentally. The journey that began virtually seamlessly transformed into regular meetings and now we love each other’s company.” 

This story has been translated from a Hindi story done by Sudhir Singh.

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