“We had no other option than to run away somewhere far from my home, located in Bundelkhand, to save our lives,” says 22-year-old Kriya, who recently moved to Lucknow with her partner Jyoti. Both Kriya and Jyoti hail from the region of Bundelkhand in North Indian state of Uttar Pradesh.
Kriya fell in love with her classmate, 21-year-old Jyoti, while they were in eleventh standard. A couple of years later, Kriya’s younger brother got to know about the affair and told his family. “Even though he is younger than me, he controlled me and my decisions. He even asked my parents to restrict me from going out and they did so,” Kriya told universo virtual.
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“Once he saw me speaking to Jyoti on call, and went to her house to tell her parents and she was beaten by them. We felt so helpless. Facing so much trauma and discrimination for months, we even thought of ending our lives because of how terrified we were of the present and future. We had no one to speak to, to approach and share our problems and expect them to understand us,” says Kriya.
On being asked if she ever thought of going to a doctor or counsellor, the duo said they can barely make ends meet by the tuition classes they give to school students at home and can’t think of affording a mental health specialist.
“I had spoken to one in Lucknow but she said she will charge 500 per person so we gave up the idea of going to her or anyone else,” says Kriya. Mental health among same sex couple is a common challenge is India, especially in the rural areas.
Escaping abuse to live life authentically
Another same sex couple, living in Lucknow, shares their traumatising story of being captivated in their home for over a month, until they successfully escaped.
Rizwan, 27, said, “When my family came to know about my relationship with him [Aviral], they asked me to come home right away, which is in a village, some 150 kilometres from Lucknow. I denied, and the very next morning, they came and forcefully took me away. They even slapped Aviral when he tried to protect me and said we are adults and can’t be forced.”
After several calls to dial 100 and requests of help, upon explaining the situation, Aviral says, they got no help. “As and when they took him away in the car, I panicked, spoke to a few friends and then called 100. They spoke to me and when I explained the situation, they asked me at least four times if we were two boys in a relationship and if we were representing different religions,” Aviral shares.
Reuters
Also read: LGBTQIA+ Mental Health Toolkit: How To Navigate The Complexities Of Well-Being
“I was taken home, slapped, abused. Mom did a whole drama on religion and the sin I was doing and then followed the major challenge. My father locked me up in my room. He announced that I would just be in my room, which would be locked from outside, and opened only when ammi would bring me food. This went on till next 20-25 days. My phone was taken away, I couldn’t contact Aviral until one day when they were on terrace, leaving me unlocked, I escaped. I ran as if I was running for life without any identity card or money or belongings,” Rizwan said.
Aviral says they even had a problem with their house owner once Rizwan came back because of the furore stirred by his family. “He asked us to leave since we were polluting his house, apparently. So, next morning we started house hunting with a two-day deadline. We found a tiny place, where, again, we were kicked out from within a month. All of this took a toll on Rizwan’s mental health.”
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Also read: How Public Data On The LGBTQIA+ Community Is Shaped And Erased In India
The couple have even been shifting homes because of the trouble caused by house owners.
“I never realised, until my partner (Aviral) discovered that I was going into depression, and we went to a therapist. I am undergoing counselling for three months now and feel much better but the experience I have had can never be forgotten, they’ve already left a scar on my mind and soul.”
(All the names have been changed on request to maintain privacy of the protagonists.)
For more stories on the LGBTQIA+ community and queerness in India, keep reading Spectrum on universo virtual.